Do you know how to fascinate?: Lessons from Sally Hogshead

Are you fascinating?

That might seem like a “no win” question, because if you answer “yes”  you might feel like you’re being narcissistic and if you say “no” well….that’s kind of depressing…

But…you are probably way more fascinating than you think you are.

You’ve had experiences, you’ve done things, and you probably have hobbies that other people would think “Wow…that’s cool. You did/do that!”

I’ve seen this when I’ve done the team-building exercise where people write down on an index card something they bet others don’t know about them and something they did that was very cool and interesting.

You would be surprised at the amazing things seemingly “average” people have done or do.

When I participate, I share how I hitchkiked cross-country when I was in my 20s and also that I surf (including in the winter, before I came to my senses).

Anyway…I decided to write about this because this past week I was  re-listening to a program by Dan Kennedy where he was emphasizing the importance of storytelling in marketing and how you need to mine your past for fascinating stories that set you apart and make people want to hear from you.

If you want people to care about what YOU have to say…rather than let you slip into the background along with the cacophony of marketing messages, advice-giving gurus, sales  messages, vendors knocking at their doors, etc…you need to tap into what about you is fascinating.

These experiences and interests can also be a MAJOR source of fascinating stories you can use to make your presentations come alive.

So for instance, I can use a story about customer service that happened in Maine, where I currently live, or I can tell a story from an experience I had with a tram conductor in Melbourne, Australia.

Which context do you think audiences find more fascinating?

Sometimes when I talk about shifting your perspective as a stress management technique, I share the story of how, when I was backpacking in Glacier National Park–part of my cross country hitchhiking adventure–I used my favorite stress management technique, Instant Perspective–to get a good night’s sleep where moments before I was scared out of my mind.

I was scared because I was camping in a place where, the night before, a man was chased by a Grizzly Bear. I was alone in this back country camping spot and there was no place to hide. But by using Instant Perspective, I was able to switch off the fear and sleep  like a baby.

Now…using that context to teach the story is more fascinating than some vanilla context, isn’t it?

If you would like some background on what Sally Hogshead calls fascination triggers, check out her book Fascinate or watch this brief video.

In a future post, I’ll share with you an example from someone I find incredibly fascinating and why that’s so.

BTW…Just a heads up…I will be doing a free webinar titled “Fascinating Inspiring U”. To make sure you get notified about it, sign up for future announcements in the box below my picture.

How to Use This

1. Make a list of things you’ve done that you think are kind of cool.–They were fun, fascinating, mind-expanding, took you out of your comfort zone, or were even someone risky.
2. Think of what you learned from those experiences–Then use these stories as teaching stories.
3. Include more of what you love to do in your personal life in your writing and speaking–So for me, these would include  surfing, extreme fitness, my experiences volunteering at an animal shelter, and cool scientific research that has HUGE implications for human performance and happiness).
4. Notice what fascinates you about others, and learn from that–Notice both what it is about them that fascinates you and how they tell stories that fascinate you. See how you can apply that in your communication.