Category: Stories for Speakers and Trainers

Do you know how to fascinate–Part II: Ken Lubin and the Death Race

Ken lubin 1In an earlier post on fascination, we explored a bit about why it is mission critical to be fascinating, and how to get started on identifying what about you is fascinating.

Now…let me give you an example: Ken Lubin, mild mannered (well maybe that’s a stretch) recruiter 9-5, absolute wild man before and after hours.

Ken was introduced to me by John Brubaker, who told me about this crazy guy who competed in the Death Race. I remember having read about the Death Race a few months earlier and was blown away by the idea anyone can endure, willingly, something so grueling. If you’ve ever read or watched any documentaries on Navy SEAL training or other Special Forces training, that’s the kind of intensity we’re talking about.

deathrace 2Since I’m really into extreme fitness and fascinated by people who are far beyond my level, I knew I wanted to meet him, but also wanted to interview him for my work on resilience. I wanted to learn how he cultivates mental toughness.

I’ve interviewed him twice so far and I have to say, this guy is one of THE most fascinating people I’ve ever interviewed or talked with.

It was funny, talking with John Brubaker later about how much I enjoyed talking with Ken. I noticed that John, too said how intrigued he was by Ken. I found myself thinking–a la Fascinate–“That’s what any entrepreneur, speaker, sales person, or even job applicant” wants people to think about them.

If you want to make an impact, people have to CARE about what you have to say.

They need to find you fascinating.

Part of what makes you fascinating is being really passionate about something. Another part is when that something is really unusal.

To give you an example of this, let’s have Ken tell you first hand his experience in his second Death Race.

Besides being a cool story, it has some great lessons.

Notice how it makes you want to learn more about this person and what makes him tick, more about his perspective on facing challenges and adversity.

OK…enough of the preamble, let’s get to the story, after….

….I mention a webinar that will help YOU become more fascinating…

If you want to learn how to make your presentations (whether to a group or a one-on-one conversation) more fascinating and inspiring, check out the upcoming webinar Fascinating Inspiring U. If you can’t make it live, sign up and you’ll get the recording.

Whether you wnat to be a better speaker, a more inspiring leader, or a more compelling salesperson, this webinar will help you amp up your Fascination and Inspiration Quotient.

OK…noq doe Ken’s wild and wooly story….

Death Race 2012. The year of Betrayal. (How to quit and still win)

What an amazing race this was. It was totally unlike last year, easier in some ways and more difficult in others. But I can say it pushed me farther than I have ever gone before! I went 60+ miles on my feet, with an untold elevation gain and 53 hours of racing.

This year’s race had a theme of betrayal- which meant don’t believe anything any one says and the rules can change during the race.

During this race you will laugh, cry, and feel euphoria, dread and any other emotion that can come out of you. Also you will notice muscles you never felt, have blisters you never had, and feel beaten up like never before.

Throughout the race we were required to have with us at all times the following items: Needle, Thread, Life Jacket, Black Compression Shirt, Pen, Paper, Bag of Human Hair, pink swim cap, 5 gallon bucket, Axe

Last year I wrote about what I learned which was amazing, and this year I learned many new things, but I wanted to go into a detailed task by task summary of the race.

If you are offended by profanity, don’t read it. (It’s not too bad) But if you want to laugh and see how screwed up this thing is, have fun!

Pre Race warm up- farm duty, race briefing.

This consisted of chopping wood, raking, carrying big things and getting you tired in the hot afternoon sun. Next we had to do a swim and culvert training. (What is culvert training? Crawling 200 yards under the road in a pipe that is 3 ft wide and completely dark) Then for the race briefing, all 238 racers had to get in a freezing (spring fed, so it was cold) pond where the organizer dumped numbered ping pong balls into the pond. You had to grab a ball and find the other racers with the same number to form a team. This is how your team was set for the next 30 hours of the race.

Task 1. 22+ mile hike with heavy things (the start)

This year’s first task included carrying a large tractor tire, a Kayak, and/or a Pipe filled with 200lbs of water for 22+ miles on the long trail in VT. If you don’t know the Long Trail, picture going through a 2- 4 ft wide section of side walk with roots, rocks, trees, moss, and everything else you can imagine, with an enormous amount of climbing and descending. This task consisted of teams of 10-15 people carrying the above. During this time, the group at the back was told if they didn’t pass the next group, that they were going to be DQ’d from the race. (not true, as this was the year of Betrayal), but as you can imagine this created chaos and people were running with the above items. (Picture running of the bulls with these items above your head)

 Task 2. Swim, buckets, hike

After carrying the insanely awkward objects for 22 miles, we were asked to swim about a qtr. of a mile. This was the most relaxing time of the event. What we didn’t realize is that we weren’t going to be able to get a resupply of food or water (except for the stream or reservoir) for the first 24 hours of the race. Many people including myself didn’t pack the appropriate supplies, but luckily I have a few extra pounds to burn (if you ever want to go on a diet, I suggest you try this for 24 hours). After the swim we had to carry 10 (5) gallon buckets of rocks about ¼ to ½ mile, which was again a welcome relief in comparison to the pipes and kayaks. Like I said above we had no food, but the race organizers where tempting us with pizza, donuts, sandwiches, if we would like to quit. I think a few people went down at this point.

Task 3. 12-15 mile hike back towards town (but not all the way)

We all thought that we were going to go back to base camp to get food and supplies, but that was not going to happen. We were led to a 2 hr exam which we had to take (exam in a death race??, yes). Imagine going full speed for 24 hours and then having to sit for 2+ hours, not very good for the muscles. Still no food, but water was given to us, but the same temptation of food was there if you wanted to quit.

Task 4. Hike back to town (ish)

Upon leaving this checkpoint, AKA Rodgers, we headed to what we thought was our base camp again, WRONG!!! We were lead back down to the valley but in the opposite direction of the most coveted food supply known to man. During one instance a support person dropped a couple of Gatorades and a bag of cookies on the ground and I have never seen so many people drop to the ground and look for crumbs. It was like dropping a bag of French Fries on the ground at the beach with a flock of seagulls around. This was at about hour 24.

Task 5. Race to the Top

We then get to the bottom of the next mountain, Joe’s Mountain, for a race to the top. We were told that if you were one of the last 50 racers that you were endangered of getting kicked out, I made sure I was up front. At the top of the mtn. our support crews were allowed to meet us. This was like a gift from god. Food, water, and hope all mixed together. Chaos ensued during this! Picture the seagull story from above with only 100 bags of fries and 1000 seagulls!!! (Pigeons, if you are not from the coast). My wife met us up there to supply me with food and was attacked. Some racer asked her if he could kiss her.

Task 6. Check in and go find your flag.

This is where the race broke wide open. I was able to hook up with 3 super strong racers for this task. Jeff Foster, PJ Rakoski and unfortunately I can’t remember the third. We had to check in, get a number and were then sent into the woods with a 5 gallon bucket of rocks and had to find the corresponding ribbon and dump the rocks in the holes where the numbers were. Fortunately for us, we found our flag right away; apparently many teams were there for hours and looking for their stick. (the race organizers have since admitted that there were moles moving them around, remember this was the year or Betrayal.) We had to make 2 trips up the final part of Joe’s mountain to dump our rocks.

Task 7. Chopping wood.

Holy shit!! I don’t think I have ever seen a tree this wide on the ground! Most often it is good to be in the lead, but not at this point. We were told that we needed to chop a piece of wood that was 40 inches long and 36 inches wide and then bring the whole thing back to the farm and rebuild it (the farm was 3 miles away, up and over the mtn.) This was mind blowing. We were also told that we needed just 12 pieces of wood 20 inches long. As this was the year of betrayal, I took the lesser of 2 evils. After much deliberation and receiving final clarification we got from the organizers. (mind f*ck) At this point we needed to carry the wood back over the top of the mtn. over to Amee farm, which is headquarters for the race.

Task 8. Origami

Origami, what the f*** is origami and why is it in this race. (but this is the death race). So back over the Mtn. we went to Borden’s farm. (Back over the mtn. was not just a trail over the mtn.). It was up a ravine with waterfalls, fallen trees, moss, and stinging nettles (they suck), all while still carrying the axe, bucket, life preserver and anything else that was on the mandatory gear list. Once we reached the next side of the mountain we were on to our next task, origami. Many of you don’t know me, but in order to draw a stick figure, I need directions. This was about 36 hours into the race at 2:30 am. This is where I paired up with my 2 compatriots, Don Schwartz and PJ Rakoski for the rest of the race. After an hour in the woods trying to memorize how to fold a “flying crane”, we took off to perform what we learned, we couldn’t move to the next task, if this wasn’t complete. My flying crane was awesome!!! We then had to split 10 logs and then back to Amee farm we went for the next task, (Amee farm was a 2 hour five mile hike, but we just rocked and rolled, it was great!)

Task 8: Concrete

Once we got back to Amee Farm at day break we were onto the next task. Bring a 60lb bag of concrete to the top of the Mtn. while still carrying all your stuff. So away we go. 60lb of concrete, 20lb pack, 2k vertical climb, back to the top of the mtn. Once at the top of the mtn., we dropped the bag off and headed back down. 2.5 hours round trip. Things are now starting to get a little fuzzy. I wonder why? (44 hours into the race, no sleep, 50 miles+ on foot) After retuning back to the farm we were told to go back over the same mtn, for the 3rd or 4th time to Riverside Farm, back corner of the field.

Task 9: The Vomit

This was the most insane thing I have ever done!! Not like everything leading up to this wasn’t but this blows it out of the water!!

As the leaders we get to farm first and saw that there was a course of tape about ¼ of a mile long made in the middle of a field which wasn’t mowed and the grass was 3 ft high, this is where the fun began! We had to roll the entire way. (Yes I said roll, on your side over and over again) We had to roll through grass, over rocks and trees, and under 200ft of a hot black tarp that was fully exposed to the sun. Oh and I forgot to mention the bucket of rotting animal organs we had to stir to get the smell going. (The tea cups at Disney make me sick) this was out of control. I don’t usually puke unless I have had huge amounts of red wine or beer, but I puked no less than 10 times during this. And we had to do 6 laps! I think I am still dizzy. Once we completed that task, we headed back over the mtn.. (seriously???). And for the rest of the people behind us except for us 3 and 4 more, this was the official end of the race.

After hiking over the mtn. and back down we were 3-4 hours in the lead and we thought this fucker was over!! As we were coming down there were 50+ people scattered all over the place that were on the verge of dying and heading up with the concrete that we did 2 tasks ago and they were 12-14 hours behind us.

PJ, Don, and I felt great; we were coming back to base camp and were ready for a beer, some dinner and being reunited with our support teams and loved ones but nope. We walked into check in and were told to go back over the mtn. with a bucket of rocks. Don, PJ and I knew that we were extremely fresh, felt great and that this thing could have gone on perpetually.

At this point we decided to call it quits. In our mind the race was over. We had done what we needed to do and crushed the field. It was 53 hours of stress we put on our wives, families and support staff and we couldn’t do that that any more. It was time to get back to life.

Many people are calling us quitters and that is fine!

What I learned is that while I love to race, train like a maniac and love to win, my life outside of this is more important. My family, my career, and next goals needed to be met. No we didn’t win and technically didn’t finish, my objectives were met. For the last year I have been training like crazy and I wanted to win this thing more than ever. I may not have won this, but I proved I was one of the best athletes and I am taking that away from this. So is it possible to quit and still win? I think it is!!

Lastly, I would like to thank all my support staff you all know who you are, PJ and Don, and all the race organizers for bringing me to a place, I have never been before. Also I would like to congratulate all the athletes if you finished or not, just getting in line for something like this is incredible!

 

______________________________________

David here…just a heads up… If you want to get better at this whole business of communicating in a powerful, fascinating way, I will be doing a workshop titled Fascinating Inspiring U  in Maine of May 4th and a free webinar with the same title on April 24th

Check out the program descriptions:

The Maine Workshop:

http://storiesthatchange.com/fascinating-inspiring-u-workshop/

The Webinar:

http://storiesthatchange.com/fascinating-inspiring-u-webinar/

______________________________________

 

Ken Lubin - ultra beastMore about Ken Lubin: I am a Managing Director with ZRG Partners www.zrgpartners.com and we are Global Executive Retained Search firm and I am based outside of Boston. I oversee a practice in Financial Services and have been working with key clients in identifying and placing individuals on a global basis. Currently I am working on searches in China, Hong Kong, Brazil, India, Singapore and the US. Also I have done a lot work in the emerging markets of Central and Eastern Europe and Latin America. I am also expanded my practice into the technology business as well.

Secondly I am passionate about Social Media and run 4 key groups on Linked In, one on Facebook, and you can follow me on Twitter.
1. Executive Athletes (9200 Members)
2. Boston Banking and Financial Services Professionals (6800 members)
3. Global Leasing and Lending Professionals (4500 members)
4. New York Banking and Financial Services Professionals (1100 members)
5. Executive Athletes on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/executiveathletes
6. Twitter @Executiveathlet

Moving into 2013 I am looking to take Executive Athletes, which was born out of social media, to a new level and have some great ideas to bringing some of the most passionate professionals and athletes I have ever known together. Also if you have any ideas about the growth and direction of the group, please let me know.

Most Importantly I love to bring awesome people together and please let me know if there is anything I can help you with. As always you can reach me at my desk at 508 366 5800 ext 219, my mobile at 508 733 4789 or my email at klubin@zrgpartners.com

Secondly there is a great book about Mental toughness that I am a fan of.  Many of these I had, then lost when I didn’t trust myself and have regained over the last few years.

http://www.mentaltoughnesssecrets.com/

 

 

Apr 12, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

An Origin Story and an Employer Branding Story: Excerpts from an Interview with Steam Whistle’s Greg Taylor

view-from-steam-whistle-breweryI first heard about Steam Whistle Brewery from Ted Matthews, author of the best-seller  Brand: It ain’t the logo…It’s what people think of you.

In my interview with Ted, he told me all the really cool things that Stream Whistle’s co-founders Greg Taylor and Cam Heaps have done to create a vibrant, authentic brand…and a culture that makes it possible.

I knew I had to learn more.

So I recently did an interview with Greg Taylor. I will be sharing pieces of the interview over the coming months. This segment looks at two stories he shared.

The Origin Story

As I’ve written about elsewhere, your Origin Story helps people understand who you are and why you do what you do. Having a clear and compelling Origin Story is important whether you are a solopreneur or business owner interested in differentiating yourself and building your brand.

If you are an employer wanting to become a Talent Magnet, communicating a fascinating and inspiring Origin Story plays a central role in your Employer Branding strategy.

Leaders of growing companies also should be using Origin Stories as one of their strategies for keeping start-up culture and ethos alive as they scale.

Origin Stories also play an important role in new hire orientation, and your ongoing strategy to communicate cultural norms and values.

In this excerpt, you will hear Greg talking about a defining moment in his life as a young bike courier, when he stumbled upon a very different kind of leader. That chance encounter both shaped his life trajectory and formed the foundation of his leadership philosophy.

An Employer Branding Story

One of my pet peeves in the recruiting and so-called Employer Branding world is the use of generic, say-nothing employee testimonials. If you search Youtube for examples of “Why I love working at….” most of the videos consist of employees saying nice generalities about their employer, things like:

 

1. “You get to work with really great people here…”

2. ‘It’s a really fun environment…’

3. “They have really great opportunities for growth here…”

 

If you watch more than two employee videos, they all start sounding alike. How can you differentiate yourself if you sound just like everybody else?

And what do those accolades really mean to the listener? It’s like saying “We really value good communication”.

What does that mean?

If you ask ten people what that means to them, each one would describe different criteria. If you ask for examples of what “god communication” meant, you would hear a wide range of scenarios equaled “good communication”.

This is where stories shine.

If you give an example of why you say “They have really great opportunities for growth here…”, the listener/viewer will have a much clearer understanding of what that looks and sounds like. Thus your message will be more clearly received.

Also, because stories are memorable while clichés and abstract terms and phrases (like the three above) are not memorable, using stories help your message stand out from the crowd. They insure that your message sticks with the viewer/listener long after they have forgotten the other generic messages.

Communicating a Core Value Come By Using a Story

In the second part of the excerpt, you will hear a great example of using a story to communicate one of Steam Whistle’s key values.

When you hear the story, notice how framing the value within a story that includes some dramatic tension and conflict makes the take away message far more “sticky” (to use Chip and Dan Heath’s term).

If Greg had just said “We recognize, and draw upon, the creativity and knowledge of our people…We totally get it that they are a HUGE source of great ideas and innovation”, you might think:

“Well yeah…I know that’s important…tell me something I don’t know.”

Because he frames his message in a story , it makes his point much more memorable.

It also makes the story an excellent example of the type of story you want to include in your Employer Branding.

So…in the recording below, you’ll hear me set up the two stories, then you’ll hear the two stories, and then you will hear a brief debrief by yours truly.

I hope you use them as models for beginning to create your Origin Story and collecting stories that can be used to communicate your Employer Brand and your key cultural values.

If you have questions about how to do either, ask away.

 


Apr 08, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Why you can’t just use abstract terms; why you need to say “What I mean by that is…”

PresenceThanks to Mike Linardi’s ezine, I discovered the Corner Office column in the NY Times, where Adam Bryant reports on conversations he’s had with CEOs about key issues. One that caught my attention was an interview with Robert W. Selander, the CEO of Mastercard on the importance of presence.

Presence is such a key factor in our ability to communicate, because it profoundly affects whether we are our message or whether who we are conflicts with what we say.

Because of this, I was excited to read what Robert W. Selander had to say about this important quality.

However, as I read what he said about presence, I found myself at first confused and then with a useful “Ah hah!”.

Here’s what he said about presence:

 

Can you elaborate more on what you mean by presence?

A. At varying levels in the company, you interact with different stakeholders. Having somebody spend time with a member of Congress is very different than having somebody go downstairs and see that they were appropriately replacing a torn carpet. You need a different capability to deal with those circumstances, not only from a knowledge standpoint but from a presence standpoint.

As I’ve gone through my career, I’ve been challenged to deal with different stakeholders. Internally, when I was younger and more junior, I probably did pretty well with peers. But then how do you credibly communicate with more senior people, who are not as concerned about some things perhaps in the details, but they want a bigger picture?

So it’s a combination of not only how you convey things, but what you convey to these various stakeholders. Presence is learning to deal with different audiences in a way that allows them to get what they need out of this interaction and ensures that the well-being of the company is looked after.

Q.Isn’t that what some people describe as just good communication skills?

A. I think you can be a good communicator and you still may not have presence. There may be someone who is very articulate on a subject and they know levels of detail. When you get with a particular audience, it may not be appropriate to go into those levels of detail, or you may create doubt by even going into the subject matter. There’s inside information in a company, for example. You never cross that bright line, but you can get varying degrees of proximity to that line, depending on your audience.

Some people are not very good communicators, but boy, when you get them into their subject matter they know exactly where to go and how far to go. Others are brilliant communicators, but because of the connection between their thoughts and the synapses firing and the words coming out, there isn’t enough time and introspection. Therefore they will brilliantly communicate something that they shouldn’t be talking about. Presence is knowing what to communicate, and how.

 

Now, when you read what he describes as “presence”, did that match your definition of presence?

It sure didn’t match mine.

I found myself thinking “the interviewer is right…what he’s talking about is communication skills…about being adaptable and speaking in ways that work with your audience”.

What he described as “presence” is very different from what I think of when I think of presence.

Why should you care about this?

Understanding what other people’s Complex Equivalents for abstract terms like “presence”, “leadership” or “authenticity” or “great customer service” is important if you want to truly understand what they’re saying.

Explaining your Complex Equivalents by illustrating examples is important if you want your audience to truly understand what you are saying.

What’s a Complex Equivalent?

What’s a Complex Equivalent you ask?

Here’s a definition of Complex Equivalent from NLP Akadamesi.com

“The individual’s cognitive map or sensory representation of a particular word, label or expression; the meaning they assign to an abstract form of words. A different experience or action that has the same meaning for an individual as the experience they are considering. Misunderstanding occurs when two individuals each assign meaning to an abstract word or phrase and then act as if they were using a shared, defined meaning.”

So, while two people might use the term “respect” and say they show people respect, their  Complex Equivalents could be very different.

So for instance, one person could challenge people aggressively, point out people’s flaws in front of others, and shoot down ideas using harsh judgments, all the time seeing themselves as respectful. For another, “respect” might equal not disagreeing with people in public, not pointing out people’s mistakes or shortcomings, etc.

So what?

1. We must never assume we know what someone means, just because they use the same term as we do. When coaching and consulting, you want to explore what people mean when they use important terms. Ask them for examples.

2. We need to explain our Complex Equivalents if we want people to understand what we’re saying at a concrete, visceral level.

 

So how can you use this knowledge?

1. For important terms you often use in  your presentations or coaching, come up with specific examples that illustrate and explain those terms.

2. When using abstract terms, follow up with “So for instance…” and “What I mean by that is….” or “An example of that would be…” – This makes it MUCH easier for the human brain to comprehend and make neural connections. Remember, the more abstract a concept, the farther it is from reality, and therefore the harder it is for the brain to process (and therefore the more quickly someone will give up trying to understand).

Conversely, the more concrete and sensory rich communication is, the more it impacts at an emotional, visceral level, and the more easily understood it is. Also the more abstract a term is, the more likely someone will fill in the blanks with their own Complex Equivalents. This can often result in them completely missing your point, while thinking they get it.

By the way, here’s an example of “for instance…”

Remember what you read a moment ago:

Remember, the more abstract a concept, the farther it is from reality, and therefore the harder it is for the brain to process (and therefore the more quickly someone will give up trying to understand).  Conversely, the more concrete and sensory rich communication is, the more it impacts at an emotional, visceral level, and the more easily understood it is.

Well that’s pretty darn abstract, is it not?

Well, let’s make it more concrete and therefore more understandable…

“So for instance, think of the difference between having someone hug you and having someone include in their email ‘Bug Hug.” One is more concrete and sensory rich than the other, and has a much bigger impact. Compare the level of abstractness between the smiley face emoticon 🙂 , reading “She laughed uproariously”, hearing an audio recording of someone laughing, or actually being in the presence of someone laughing. Notice how as you slide along the continuum of abstract to concrete and sensory rich, the experience and impact increases.

This is one of the reasons why stories shine as communication devices. They make ideas come alive because they turn ideas into experiences, because they are sensory rich and visceral.

So…remember to ask about other people’s Complex Equivalents and give examples of yours.

 

 

Mar 30, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Add Credibility and Up Your Fascination Factor with Cool Scientific Research

Ultimatum2In an earlier blog post about Sally Hogshead’s book Fascinate, we explored the importance of making your ideas fascinating.

One of the best ways to amp up the fascination factor of your presentations–and add credibility– is to include fascinating scientific research.

Doing so makes your key points far “stickier”, to use Made to Stick author’s Chip and Dan Heath’s term.

I’m a big fan of using scientific research for personal reasons because I just find it immensely fascinating. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that experts in a particular scientific field are so focused on their specialty, they often don’t know about research from disparate fields, nor do they try to translate their ideas into practical applications.

One of the things I love to do is connect the dots from research from disparate disciplines and translate the take away message to practical strategies leaders can use in the workplace and people can use in their personal lives.

I am also a big fan of sharing scientific research in my talks because love it.

Over the years, when people have told me they really like my presentations, two of the four most common comments are:

1. They love the use of stories

2. They love it that I use scientific research. They often say they love the research because it makes what I say more credible…especially to the more skeptical members of their team who think anything but spreadsheets and the hard sciences is “soft.” They also just find the research (when told well) just plain  fascinating.

Here is an excerpt from my audio program Storytelling for Leaders that illustrates two examples of some of my favorite research, me telling the story behind it, and then exploring the implications.

ultimatumOne of the areas of research you’ll hear is the fascinating line of inquiry called the Ultimatum Game. The Ultimatum Game is from the world of neuroeconomics. The findings from this research has huge implications for leaders. More specifically, it reveals our hard-wired desire for fairness and how irrational people are about unfairness. In the audio clip, you’ll hear me talk about the leadership implications.

The second area of study is some really fascinating research involving audio recordings of physicians being used to predict who gets sued and who doesn’t. After sharing the story behind the research,  I  talk about the implications of this research on managers and leaders, and how you cannot afford to be careless with your use of power.

MalpracticeI first read about this research in Malcom Gladwell’s book Blink. You can find a link at his site for the PDF of the article by Nalini Ambady et al., “Surgeons’ Tone of Voice: A Clue to Malpractice History.” detailing her research.

Hopefully you will notice how both scientific story research makes the points both more intriguing and more powerful.

Just a heads up…I will be doing a free webinar titled “Fascinating Inspiring U”. To make sure you get notified about it, sign up for future announcements in the box below my picture.

 

 

Examples of Books that Contain Fascinating Scientific Research and the Stories Behind It

Blink by Malcom Gladwell

Switch by Chip and Dan Heath

Influencers by Kerry Patterson et al

Predictably Irrational by Daniel Ariely

 

Internet Sources of Fascinating Research

 ScienceDaily.com

Alltop.com

Alltop.com’s neuroscience section

 

 

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Mar 28, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Do you know how to fascinate?: Lessons from Sally Hogshead

fascinateAre you fascinating?

That might seem like a “no win” question, because if you answer “yes”  you might feel like you’re being narcissistic and if you say “no” well….that’s kind of depressing…

But…you are probably way more fascinating than you think you are.

You’ve had experiences, you’ve done things, and you probably have hobbies that other people would think “Wow…that’s cool. You did/do that!”

I’ve seen this when I’ve done the team-building exercise where people write down on an index card something they bet others don’t know about them and something they did that was very cool and interesting.

You would be surprised at the amazing things seemingly “average” people have done or do.

When I participate, I share how I hitchkiked cross-country when I was in my 20s and also that I surf (including in the winter, before I came to my senses).

Anyway…I decided to write about this because this past week I was  re-listening to a program by Dan Kennedy where he was emphasizing the importance of storytelling in marketing and how you need to mine your past for fascinating stories that set you apart and make people want to hear from you.

If you want people to care about what YOU have to say…rather than let you slip into the background along with the cacophony of marketing messages, advice-giving gurus, sales  messages, vendors knocking at their doors, etc…you need to tap into what about you is fascinating.

These experiences and interests can also be a MAJOR source of fascinating stories you can use to make your presentations come alive.

So for instance, I can use a story about customer service that happened in Maine, where I currently live, or I can tell a story from an experience I had with a tram conductor in Melbourne, Australia.

Which context do you think audiences find more fascinating?

Sometimes when I talk about shifting your perspective as a stress management technique, I share the story of how, when I was backpacking in Glacier National Park–part of my cross country hitchhiking adventure–I used my favorite stress management technique, Instant Perspective–to get a good night’s sleep where moments before I was scared out of my mind.

I was scared because I was camping in a place where, the night before, a man was chased by a Grizzly Bear. I was alone in this back country camping spot and there was no place to hide. But by using Instant Perspective, I was able to switch off the fear and sleep  like a baby.

Now…using that context to teach the story is more fascinating than some vanilla context, isn’t it?

If you would like some background on what Sally Hogshead calls fascination triggers, check out her book Fascinate or watch this brief video.

In a future post, I’ll share with you an example from someone I find incredibly fascinating and why that’s so.

BTW…Just a heads up…I will be doing a free webinar titled “Fascinating Inspiring U”. To make sure you get notified about it, sign up for future announcements in the box below my picture.

 

How to Use This

  1. Make a list of things you’ve done that you think are kind of cool.–They were fun, fascinating, mind-expanding, took you out of your comfort zone, or were even someone risky.
  2. Think of what you learned from those experiences–Then use these stories as teaching stories.
  3. Include more of what you love to do in your personal life in your writing and speaking–So for me, these would include  surfing, extreme fitness, my experiences volunteering at an animal shelter, and cool scientific research that has HUGE implications for human performance and happiness).
  4. Notice what fascinates you about others, and learn from that–Notice both what it is about them that fascinates you and how they tell stories that fascinate you. See how you can apply that in your communication.

 

 

Mar 18, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Branding Stories: Interview with Ted Matthews, author of Brand: It Ain’t the Logo

brand-it-aint-logo-ted-matthews-paperback-cover-artI recently interviewed Ted Matthews, who wrote an excellent book on branding,  Brand: It Ain’t the Logo…It’s What People Think of You.

He had me at the “It ain’t the Logo” part of the title because of my own interest in helping employers go beyond the illusion that “getting their messaging right” or spiffing up their recruting collateral material equals “Employer Branding.”

If you’re interested in hearing what I have to say about that, check out Before You Waste Your Time and Money on So-Called Employer Branding.

But what I wanted to share with you in this excerpt from our interview is Ted giving some outstanding examples of how to use stories that:

 

  1. Capture your Employer Brand…and could be used at Job Expos, in Employer Branding Videos, and other Recruiting Collateral
  2. Demonstrate a Leader Communicating a Behavioral Vision–i.e. Translating their Mission and Vision into Day to Day Behaviors That Will Make the Mission and Vision a Reality
  3. Demonstrate How to Use Stories to Celebrate Employees Making a Difference
  4. Capture A Company’s Culture
  5. Inspire Employees and Elicit Their “Inner Hero”

This interview is also instructive for would-be storytellers in the business world who are afraid to use stories for fear of them being perceived as irrelevant or fluffy by a skeptical audience. You’ll hear perfect examples of how to use simple, short stories that make ideas come alive. As you listen to them, you’ll notice you’re not thinking “What a long, drawn out story…get to the point.” (which is what people often express as their fear about how others will react).

You will find both the content of the stories as well as how they are used very instructive.

For More Information on Ted Matthew’s work, go to Instinct Brand Equity

 

 

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Feb 10, 2013 | 1 comment View Post

It’s All About the Explanation…A Story That Illustrates…

explanatory styleOne of the most useful tools for building resilience, I’ve found over the years, is noticing and challenging unproductive explanations we create about experiences we are having.

This comes from the outstanding work of Dr. Martin Seligman, a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology. His research revealed that people who are prone to anxiety and depression had very different “explanatory styles” than people who didn’t…and even more radically different from people who were resilient.

In this video, you will see an example of me using a story to make the concept of “It’s not what happens, it what we say to ourselves–i.e. how we EXPLAIN what happens–that determines its effect on us.”

Now, I could just make that point as a bullet point and talk in very theoretical terms or…I could give an example.

I can tell a story… (BTW…this is one of my favorite stories)

Excerpted from “Whatever Life Brings” (DVD/CD set)

 

Feb 05, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

How to use a story to impact at the visceral level, rather than just at the intellectual…

David-HeadShotFun-219x300I just heard a great example of someone turning a truism one might know intellectually into something that hits you at the visceral level, by using a story.

I was re-listening to David Neagle’s teleseminar series The Miracle of Money (which is outstanding, BTW…I think it’s something we should teach in our schools) and came upon this story from the bible he tells to illustrate a point.

Basically, he was talking about how you can’t just affirm into existence what you want–a la The Secret–and hope for a miracle. But, that you must engage in what he calls “miracle making activities”. He talks about how when we try to affirm things like “I am in great shape” or “My business is growing” but do nothing to make those happen, our subconscious mind is thinking “That’s BS…you don’t mean it and you don’t believe it.”

While you might think this is common sense:

1. There are a lot of people who believe that simply affirming things over and over will miraculously make them happen.

2. There are a lot of people who live their lives acting as if, without action, good things will happen.

To be honest, I’ve done #2 more times than I would like to admit, so I felt somewhat “busted” as he talked about this.

But, I found the way he framed it in a biblical story especially powerful.

As I heard the story again, it hit home at a deeper level and…made me think “I want to share this with my storytelling folks as a great example of how to use a story to make your idea, which could easily be taken as nothing new and common sense, and make it come alive…and make it hit at a visceral level…not just an intellectual level.”

Listen to the story and notice the  power it adds to the concept.

Then think about concepts you want to teach and how you can use stories like this to make them “stickier” (as in Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath)

You can literally listen to the audio excerpt at the bottom of this post, or…read it:

The other story is one that comes out of Christian scripture. It‘s where Christ was in a home. It says he was teaching to the family in this home, and the multitude was out around the home.

What‘s the multitude? According to the Bible, the multitude was hundreds or thousands of people. They gathered around the home in hopes of many different things. Some wanted teaching from Christ. Some wanted healing from Christ. They all wanted to get something from him, so they were standing outside the home waiting in hopes that they might get something from him.

There was a family that lived a few miles away. The family had a dying father, and they had gotten word that Christ was teaching in this home just a few miles away.

They put the father in a cart and carted over to the home. When they got there, they can‘t get to the door because the multitude was standing all around the house.

What they did was said, ―Father will have his healing.

They climbed up and hoisted the father onto the roof of the home. They ripped off the top of the roof and lowered the father down in front of Christ to get the healing. The father was healed.

For everybody else on the outside around the home, if you were ask if they wanted their healing, would say, ―Yes, please,‖ but they just stood there. The person who really wanted it spent their time in miracle-generating activities. They would not be denied success in the healing of the father, so they found a way where there was no way.

They could have got there and said, ―We can‘t get through these thousands of people. He‘s busy. Maybe we‘d be disturbing him.‖ Some of you are afraid to make phone calls and call people because you‘re disturbing people.

In the Christian religion, Christ is the son of God, and these people had no problem bothering the son of God or ripping off the roof of the house to lower him to the son of God. They weren‘t afraid to be ashamed, embarrassed or told no.

They said, ―We will have our healing. We will have our abundance. We‘re not going to be weak of heart and mind. We‘re not going to be distracted by all the people who don‘t have the confidence to go in and ask for and demand what they want. We will have it.‖ Christ granted their request.

Christ‘s story is very interesting. If you look throughout the Bible, you realize there were only a few people Christ actually healed. At some point, you have to ask yourself why. If Christ had the power to heal all of humanity, why did he come here and just heal a few?

You don‘t find him healing anybody who didn‘t go through great pains in order to ask him to heal. That‘s the difference between really desiring what you want and just slightly wanting it because you don‘t like what your situation is presenting.

© 2011 Life Is Now, Inc * 500 North Michigan Avenue, Suite 300 * Chicago, IL 60611 Ph / fax 888-720-7117

For more of David Neagle’s work, go to DavidNeagle.com.

 

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Jan 30, 2013 | 2 comments View Post

How to Use Videos to Facilitate Deep Reflection and Conversation

Jonathan_Antoine_Charlotte_At a leadership retreat I facilitated a while back, I shared with the team the video of Jonathan and Charlotte (see below).

We used it as a catalyst for discussing how they can “Be a Charlotte” to each other during the challenging transitional period they were going through. Even though they have been a strong team for years with members who truly love and appreciate each other, they had temporarily lost their awareness and ability to support and encourage each other.

We used the video to spark conversation about how they can once again “Be Charlottes” to each other in supportive, encouraging ways.

This is a simple example of using a video to spark deep conversation about important issues.

It’s also an example of being mindful of any and all experiences you  have as potential teaching tools.

So in this case, after watching the video a couple of times and moving beyond the pure heart-warming and mind-blowing aspects of it, I found myself thinking:

“What’s going on here that is so big and where else can this message be brought?”

Perhaps the biggest theme for me was the power of “Holding the Vision” for another when they cannot. Charlotte could see Jonathan’s greatness when he could not and because of her unwavering friendship and confidence in him, he was able to attempt something he would never have dreamed possible.

In my blog on resilience WhateverLifeBrings.com, I wrote about this and included the following. I’m sharing it here to give you an example of how to use the video as tool to facilitate deep reflection and conversation.

In this context, I’m sharing the video with you as a way to catalyze you to think about how you can mirror back to someone the gifts and potential you see in them.

Think for a moment of  friends or colleauges who can’t yet hold the vision for themselves of their greatness and what is truly possible for them.

After watching the video, think about people who have been Charlottes to you and the difference it made to you during those times you didn’t believe in yourself.

And then think about those people in your life right now, to whom YOU can be a Charlotte…and how you might do that:

 

Notice how you feel after watching the video.

This is one of the ways that storytelling, whether spoken or through visual communication is so powerful.

Because they impact at a visceral level, they can shift you to a very different emotional state. In that new emotional state, you find yourself thinking things and seeing things that you would  not have in your  neutral or negative emotional state.

So…be on the lookout for videos, including clips from movie scenes, that move you and ask yourself:

1. What about this is moving?

2. What big theme or themes does this embody?

3. In what contexts is this relevant and important?

4. How can I use this to spark deep reflection and conversation?

 

Also…if you have videos and movie scenes that you really like and wonder about how to use them or…you have some that you already use, please share with the rest of us.

 

P.S. Another technical note. If you go back to the beginning of the post, I mentioned how after we watched the video, we talked about how they could “Be a Charlotte” for each other. This is an example of using a video story to make a concept more “Sticky”, in the words of Made to Stick authors Chip and Dan Heath. I could have just thrown out the question “How can you be more supportive of each other and help each see the best in themselves?” and at the end, ask them to keep doing that.

But…by showing the video and using the question “How can I be the Charlotte to others?” it makes it far more meaningful and sticky.

Jan 22, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Starting Your Presentation with a Story

Starting your presentation with a story:

  1. Increases your audience’s interest, because people are hard-wired to care about and enjoy stories.
  2. Helps them bond with you–even if it’s not a personal story–because it signals to them that you won’t bore them with a traditional bullet-point centric talk.
  3. Tune them into that all important radio station—WII-FM–“What’s in it for me?”–if…you choose the right story.

Even though I’ve been using stories for years in my presentations, I still obsess over which story to start off a talk, because the old adage about first impressions being so important is backed up by research. In studies where the presenter started out weak and ended up strong, they were rated worse than when they started out strong and ended off weak.

Thus, starting out strong is really important.

At a recent “Storytelling for Leaders” program I gave, I orginally was going to start off with a story I told on a webinar for training professionals about someone “dying on stage” and then switching to a story and how the audience came to life. Because bombing in a presentation is a major fear for most people, especially people who speak for a living, that was a good match for my training audience.

However, my contact at the organization I spoke at said that she didn’t want participants to think this was a “presentation skills” program, but a “How to use stories to be a more powerful communicator as a leader” program, so I didn’t want to confuse the issue by starting off with that story.

So…I started with a story that related more to a frustration any leader can relate to:

You have an important message to deliver, but people don’t seem to “get it”. In fact, you’re getting the opposite of the response that you want.

Here’s the recording of the story I opened with. Notice the scenario it depicted and how it dialed people into WII-FM–i.e. how this material could help them.

Also, notice any techniques that stand out for  you in terms of how the story was told.

 

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Jan 16, 2013 | 1 comment View Post
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