Category: Empowerment Stories

Use Ritz Carlton’s “Wow” Story Approach to Remind Employees of the Importance of their Work and…

Ritz Carlton is probably the best example of an employer who consistently uses storytelling to inspire and remind employees what excellence looks like.

In this excerpt from the program Ritz Carlton’s Diana Oreck and I did at the ERE Conference titled Strengthening Your Talent Acquisition, Onboarding, and Employee Engagement Strategy Through Storytelling, Diana shares an example of the wonderful “Wow” Stories Ritz Carlton managers share during their daily line-ups. Each week, two of the daily line-ups include such stories.

Sharing stories of customer service excellence as well as other stories that illustrate employee excellence accomplishes several important objectives.

They provide inspiration – When people hear stories of excellence, it inspires them to be their best.
They recognize and demonstrate appreciation for greatness — Recognition and appreciation are two of the most powerful human motivators. Sharing stories of employees doing great things addresses both human needs.
They communicate your Behavioral Vision in a clear and compelling way – Your Behavioral Vision consists of the employee behaviors that make your Vision, your Mission, your Brand Promise, and your business goals possible. When you share stories of excellent customer service in action, you reinforce your vision of what great customer service looks like. When you share stories of employees engaging in behaviors that make your Vision, Mission, Brand Promise and business goals possible, you create a clear “Line of Sight” between their actions and performance and your business goals. This helps them understand exactly how they can contribute the most effectively to your organization’s success.
They increase the likelihood such greatness will be repeated — Because what gets noticed and appreciated gets repeated, sharing Wow Stories increases the odds that other employees will engage in such behaviors.
They foster pride — Employees–especially A Players–want to be proud of where they work. Sharing “Wow” Stories helps remind people they are part of a great team.
They keep employees connected to a sense of meaning and purpose – By sharing stories of employees doing great things and the impact of what they do, it helps them infuse their daily work with a sense of meaning and purpose. This is HUGE both in terms of employee engagement and in employee resilience. Employees are far more resilient, they have a far greater capacity to deal with stress and challenge, when they feel like what they do makes a difference in the world.

So you don’t have to scroll through the closing comments and questions again, here they are:

So…how will you use stories to connect your employees to the difference their work makes?

How will you share customer stories with your employees, so you infuse their work with greater meaning and purpose?

How will you capture and share stories that communicate your Behavioral Vision of what equals “Wow” customer service and expands your employees’ perspective on how to create memorable, brand-building experiences?

Capture customer stories.

Share them.

Inspire your employees.

Build a stronger brand.

Apr 17, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Do you know how to fascinate–Part II: Ken Lubin and the Death Race

In an earlier post on fascination, we explored a bit about why it is mission critical to be fascinating, and how to get started on identifying what about you is fascinating.

Now…let me give you an example: Ken Lubin, mild mannered (well maybe that’s a stretch) recruiter 9-5, absolute wild man before and after hours.

Ken was introduced to me by John Brubaker, who told me about this crazy guy who competed in the Death Race. I remember having read about the Death Race a few months earlier and was blown away by the idea anyone can endure, willingly, something so grueling. If you’ve ever read or watched any documentaries on Navy SEAL training or other Special Forces training, that’s the kind of intensity we’re talking about.

Since I’m really into extreme fitness and fascinated by people who are far beyond my level, I knew I wanted to meet him, but also wanted to interview him for my work on resilience. I wanted to learn how he cultivates mental toughness.

I’ve interviewed him twice so far and I have to say, this guy is one of THE most fascinating people I’ve ever interviewed or talked with.

It was funny, talking with John Brubaker later about how much I enjoyed talking with Ken. I noticed that John, too said how intrigued he was by Ken. I found myself thinking–a la Fascinate–“That’s what any entrepreneur, speaker, sales person, or even job applicant” wants people to think about them.

If you want to make an impact, people have to CARE about what you have to say.

They need to find you fascinating.

Part of what makes you fascinating is being really passionate about something. Another part is when that something is really unusal.

To give you an example of this, let’s have Ken tell you first hand his experience in his second Death Race.

Besides being a cool story, it has some great lessons.

Notice how it makes you want to learn more about this person and what makes him tick, more about his perspective on facing challenges and adversity.

OK…enough of the preamble, let’s get to the story, after….

….I mention a webinar that will help YOU become more fascinating…

If you want to learn how to make your presentations (whether to a group or a one-on-one conversation) more fascinating and inspiring, check out the upcoming webinar Fascinating Inspiring U. If you can’t make it live, sign up and you’ll get the recording.

Whether you wnat to be a better speaker, a more inspiring leader, or a more compelling salesperson, this webinar will help you amp up your Fascination and Inspiration Quotient.

OK…noq doe Ken’s wild and wooly story….

Death Race 2012. The year of Betrayal. (How to quit and still win)

What an amazing race this was. It was totally unlike last year, easier in some ways and more difficult in others. But I can say it pushed me farther than I have ever gone before! I went 60+ miles on my feet, with an untold elevation gain and 53 hours of racing.

This year’s race had a theme of betrayal- which meant don’t believe anything any one says and the rules can change during the race.

During this race you will laugh, cry, and feel euphoria, dread and any other emotion that can come out of you. Also you will notice muscles you never felt, have blisters you never had, and feel beaten up like never before.

Throughout the race we were required to have with us at all times the following items: Needle, Thread, Life Jacket, Black Compression Shirt, Pen, Paper, Bag of Human Hair, pink swim cap, 5 gallon bucket, Axe

Last year I wrote about what I learned which was amazing, and this year I learned many new things, but I wanted to go into a detailed task by task summary of the race.

If you are offended by profanity, don’t read it. (It’s not too bad) But if you want to laugh and see how screwed up this thing is, have fun!

Pre Race warm up- farm duty, race briefing.

This consisted of chopping wood, raking, carrying big things and getting you tired in the hot afternoon sun. Next we had to do a swim and culvert training. (What is culvert training? Crawling 200 yards under the road in a pipe that is 3 ft wide and completely dark) Then for the race briefing, all 238 racers had to get in a freezing (spring fed, so it was cold) pond where the organizer dumped numbered ping pong balls into the pond. You had to grab a ball and find the other racers with the same number to form a team. This is how your team was set for the next 30 hours of the race.

Task 1. 22+ mile hike with heavy things (the start)

This year’s first task included carrying a large tractor tire, a Kayak, and/or a Pipe filled with 200lbs of water for 22+ miles on the long trail in VT. If you don’t know the Long Trail, picture going through a 2- 4 ft wide section of side walk with roots, rocks, trees, moss, and everything else you can imagine, with an enormous amount of climbing and descending. This task consisted of teams of 10-15 people carrying the above. During this time, the group at the back was told if they didn’t pass the next group, that they were going to be DQ’d from the race. (not true, as this was the year of Betrayal), but as you can imagine this created chaos and people were running with the above items. (Picture running of the bulls with these items above your head)

Task 2. Swim, buckets, hike

After carrying the insanely awkward objects for 22 miles, we were asked to swim about a qtr. of a mile. This was the most relaxing time of the event. What we didn’t realize is that we weren’t going to be able to get a resupply of food or water (except for the stream or reservoir) for the first 24 hours of the race. Many people including myself didn’t pack the appropriate supplies, but luckily I have a few extra pounds to burn (if you ever want to go on a diet, I suggest you try this for 24 hours). After the swim we had to carry 10 (5) gallon buckets of rocks about ¼ to ½ mile, which was again a welcome relief in comparison to the pipes and kayaks. Like I said above we had no food, but the race organizers where tempting us with pizza, donuts, sandwiches, if we would like to quit. I think a few people went down at this point.

Task 3. 12-15 mile hike back towards town (but not all the way)

We all thought that we were going to go back to base camp to get food and supplies, but that was not going to happen. We were led to a 2 hr exam which we had to take (exam in a death race??, yes). Imagine going full speed for 24 hours and then having to sit for 2+ hours, not very good for the muscles. Still no food, but water was given to us, but the same temptation of food was there if you wanted to quit.

Task 4. Hike back to town (ish)

Upon leaving this checkpoint, AKA Rodgers, we headed to what we thought was our base camp again, WRONG!!! We were lead back down to the valley but in the opposite direction of the most coveted food supply known to man. During one instance a support person dropped a couple of Gatorades and a bag of cookies on the ground and I have never seen so many people drop to the ground and look for crumbs. It was like dropping a bag of French Fries on the ground at the beach with a flock of seagulls around. This was at about hour 24.

Task 5. Race to the Top

We then get to the bottom of the next mountain, Joe’s Mountain, for a race to the top. We were told that if you were one of the last 50 racers that you were endangered of getting kicked out, I made sure I was up front. At the top of the mtn. our support crews were allowed to meet us. This was like a gift from god. Food, water, and hope all mixed together. Chaos ensued during this! Picture the seagull story from above with only 100 bags of fries and 1000 seagulls!!! (Pigeons, if you are not from the coast). My wife met us up there to supply me with food and was attacked. Some racer asked her if he could kiss her.

Task 6. Check in and go find your flag.

This is where the race broke wide open. I was able to hook up with 3 super strong racers for this task. Jeff Foster, PJ Rakoski and unfortunately I can’t remember the third. We had to check in, get a number and were then sent into the woods with a 5 gallon bucket of rocks and had to find the corresponding ribbon and dump the rocks in the holes where the numbers were. Fortunately for us, we found our flag right away; apparently many teams were there for hours and looking for their stick. (the race organizers have since admitted that there were moles moving them around, remember this was the year or Betrayal.) We had to make 2 trips up the final part of Joe’s mountain to dump our rocks.

Task 7. Chopping wood.

Holy shit!! I don’t think I have ever seen a tree this wide on the ground! Most often it is good to be in the lead, but not at this point. We were told that we needed to chop a piece of wood that was 40 inches long and 36 inches wide and then bring the whole thing back to the farm and rebuild it (the farm was 3 miles away, up and over the mtn.) This was mind blowing. We were also told that we needed just 12 pieces of wood 20 inches long. As this was the year of betrayal, I took the lesser of 2 evils. After much deliberation and receiving final clarification we got from the organizers. (mind f*ck) At this point we needed to carry the wood back over the top of the mtn. over to Amee farm, which is headquarters for the race.

Task 8. Origami

Origami, what the f*** is origami and why is it in this race. (but this is the death race). So back over the Mtn. we went to Borden’s farm. (Back over the mtn. was not just a trail over the mtn.). It was up a ravine with waterfalls, fallen trees, moss, and stinging nettles (they suck), all while still carrying the axe, bucket, life preserver and anything else that was on the mandatory gear list. Once we reached the next side of the mountain we were on to our next task, origami. Many of you don’t know me, but in order to draw a stick figure, I need directions. This was about 36 hours into the race at 2:30 am. This is where I paired up with my 2 compatriots, Don Schwartz and PJ Rakoski for the rest of the race. After an hour in the woods trying to memorize how to fold a “flying crane”, we took off to perform what we learned, we couldn’t move to the next task, if this wasn’t complete. My flying crane was awesome!!! We then had to split 10 logs and then back to Amee farm we went for the next task, (Amee farm was a 2 hour five mile hike, but we just rocked and rolled, it was great!)

Task 8: Concrete

Once we got back to Amee Farm at day break we were onto the next task. Bring a 60lb bag of concrete to the top of the Mtn. while still carrying all your stuff. So away we go. 60lb of concrete, 20lb pack, 2k vertical climb, back to the top of the mtn. Once at the top of the mtn., we dropped the bag off and headed back down. 2.5 hours round trip. Things are now starting to get a little fuzzy. I wonder why? (44 hours into the race, no sleep, 50 miles+ on foot) After retuning back to the farm we were told to go back over the same mtn, for the 3rd or 4th time to Riverside Farm, back corner of the field.

Task 9: The Vomit

This was the most insane thing I have ever done!! Not like everything leading up to this wasn’t but this blows it out of the water!!

As the leaders we get to farm first and saw that there was a course of tape about ¼ of a mile long made in the middle of a field which wasn’t mowed and the grass was 3 ft high, this is where the fun began! We had to roll the entire way. (Yes I said roll, on your side over and over again) We had to roll through grass, over rocks and trees, and under 200ft of a hot black tarp that was fully exposed to the sun. Oh and I forgot to mention the bucket of rotting animal organs we had to stir to get the smell going. (The tea cups at Disney make me sick) this was out of control. I don’t usually puke unless I have had huge amounts of red wine or beer, but I puked no less than 10 times during this. And we had to do 6 laps! I think I am still dizzy. Once we completed that task, we headed back over the mtn.. (seriously???). And for the rest of the people behind us except for us 3 and 4 more, this was the official end of the race.

After hiking over the mtn. and back down we were 3-4 hours in the lead and we thought this fucker was over!! As we were coming down there were 50+ people scattered all over the place that were on the verge of dying and heading up with the concrete that we did 2 tasks ago and they were 12-14 hours behind us.

PJ, Don, and I felt great; we were coming back to base camp and were ready for a beer, some dinner and being reunited with our support teams and loved ones but nope. We walked into check in and were told to go back over the mtn. with a bucket of rocks. Don, PJ and I knew that we were extremely fresh, felt great and that this thing could have gone on perpetually.

At this point we decided to call it quits. In our mind the race was over. We had done what we needed to do and crushed the field. It was 53 hours of stress we put on our wives, families and support staff and we couldn’t do that that any more. It was time to get back to life.

Many people are calling us quitters and that is fine!

What I learned is that while I love to race, train like a maniac and love to win, my life outside of this is more important. My family, my career, and next goals needed to be met. No we didn’t win and technically didn’t finish, my objectives were met. For the last year I have been training like crazy and I wanted to win this thing more than ever. I may not have won this, but I proved I was one of the best athletes and I am taking that away from this. So is it possible to quit and still win? I think it is!!

Lastly, I would like to thank all my support staff you all know who you are, PJ and Don, and all the race organizers for bringing me to a place, I have never been before. Also I would like to congratulate all the athletes if you finished or not, just getting in line for something like this is incredible!

______________________________________

David here…just a heads up… If you want to get better at this whole business of communicating in a powerful, fascinating way, I will be doing a workshop titled Fascinating Inspiring U in Maine of May 4th and a free webinar with the same title on April 24th

Check out the program descriptions:

The Maine Workshop:

http://storiesthatchange.com/fascinating-inspiring-u-workshop/

The Webinar:

http://storiesthatchange.com/fascinating-inspiring-u-webinar/

______________________________________

More about Ken Lubin: I am a Managing Director with ZRG Partners www.zrgpartners.com and we are Global Executive Retained Search firm and I am based outside of Boston. I oversee a practice in Financial Services and have been working with key clients in identifying and placing individuals on a global basis. Currently I am working on searches in China, Hong Kong, Brazil, India, Singapore and the US. Also I have done a lot work in the emerging markets of Central and Eastern Europe and Latin America. I am also expanded my practice into the technology business as well.

Secondly I am passionate about Social Media and run 4 key groups on Linked In, one on Facebook, and you can follow me on Twitter.
1. Executive Athletes (9200 Members)
2. Boston Banking and Financial Services Professionals (6800 members)
3. Global Leasing and Lending Professionals (4500 members)
4. New York Banking and Financial Services Professionals (1100 members)
5. Executive Athletes on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/executiveathletes
6. Twitter @Executiveathlet

Moving into 2013 I am looking to take Executive Athletes, which was born out of social media, to a new level and have some great ideas to bringing some of the most passionate professionals and athletes I have ever known together. Also if you have any ideas about the growth and direction of the group, please let me know.

Most Importantly I love to bring awesome people together and please let me know if there is anything I can help you with. As always you can reach me at my desk at 508 366 5800 ext 219, my mobile at 508 733 4789 or my email at klubin@zrgpartners.com

Secondly there is a great book about Mental toughness that I am a fan of. Many of these I had, then lost when I didn’t trust myself and have regained over the last few years.

http://www.mentaltoughnesssecrets.com/

Apr 12, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

An amazing Origin Story: Vivienne, Audrey and Make a Stand Lemon-aid

Get ready for a great example of an Origin Story.

This is one of the most important stories to have in your storytelling quiver, especially if you are a solopreneur with a big message. It’s also important for leaders of organizations to have both their personal Origin Story and an organizational Origin Story (like Ari Weinzweig of Zingerman’s does).

This story is also a great example of a story that can be used to challenge someone’s self-limiting belief about being “too small” to make a difference in this big, complex world.

So, here’s what happened…

While walking around the exhibitor area of the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco recently, I stumbled upon a sight I had never encountered at a conference: a brightly colored lemonade stand.

My gaze also encountered another unfamiliar exhibition hall sight: a princess in a princess gown.

The princess’s name, I discovered, was Vivienne Harr. With her was Tony Daniel, a big magnetically cheerful guy. I soon learned that Tony was the dad of Vivienne’s co-founder, Audrey Daniel.

I asked him about the story of Make a Stand Lemon-aid.

I was so taken by what he shared, I asked him and Vivienne if I could do a recording of them telling their story.

After you watch the video, I’ll share with you some thoughts about how to use what you saw, heard, and experienced.

Here are a few storytelling lessons and applications:

This is a great example of a brief version of an Origin Story.

Notice how Tony was able to capture the origin of Make a Stand Lemonade and the purpose behind it, in about a minute. Whether you present at an event or talk with someone at your vendor booth, you infuse your message with more meaning—and you make it more fascinating—when you describe briefly the story behind why your business exists, the story behind why you do what you do. You also make it easier for people to bond to you when they know your story.

Telling your story begins the Know, Like, Trust process critical to selling your products, services, and ideas.

So…to put this into practice, start working on your Origin Story. For another example of an Origin Story, you can read mine.

This is a great example of a story you can to use to challenge someone’s limiting perspectives, especially the perspective of “I’m too small” or “I’m just a ‘little person’…I can’t make a difference in this big, complex world.”

The Make a Stand Lemon-aid story is a great example of what I call a Perspective Shift story, which is one of the most powerful story genres you can use when coaching or mentoring someone.

With Perspective Shift stories, rather than simply challenging someone’s limiting belief or perspective—which only triggers resistance and defensiveness—you can instead tell them a story that offers a different perspective. I especially like Vivienne and the Make a Stand folk’s story because it is both sweet and charming and…incredibly inspiring.

Think about it, how can you convince yourself you can’t make a difference in the world as an adult, when you hear how two adorable little girls have already made a difference and they’re not even teenagers.

It kind of takes away our excuses.

So how can you apply this in your work? Start noticing and collecting stories of “average” people making a difference, “regular” people doing big things.

Then, when you’re working with someone who believes they are too “small” (or old, or not well educated enough, etc) to make a difference, share with them one or more of these stories.

Doing so can help shift their emotional state and perspective from “I can’t” to “I can.”

If you work inside an organization and your work involves cultivating employee engagement, notice the question I asked Vivienne.

Even though Vivienne’s story is not an example of a story you would use to foster employee engagement, the question I asked her should be included in the stories you use to show employees how the work they do makes a difference.

You want to ask the story teller “How did that make you feel?” along with “What did that mean to you?” for key Moments of Truth in the experience they’re telling you about. Doing this guides the speaker to share at a more personal, intimate level. This helps the listener bond with the speaker.

It helps them form an empathetic connection with the speaker, because they are hearing about the speaker’s inner world. Although Vivienne’s story is not an example of a customer story, asking the question I asked her, along with “What did that mean to you?” question, makes customer stories more meaningful to employees. Haring how customers felt when an employee did X or because the company did Y, and hearing what it meant to the customer, helps employees understand the impact of their work at a deeper, more emotional, more visceral level. Hearing about the impact their work makes helps infuse employees’ work with greater meaning and purpose, which is a fundamental driver of employee motivation.

Research by Dr. Adam Grant, of Wharton Business School has shown that when employees are directly exposed to customer stories about the difference their work makes, it translates into major increases in productivity. In fact, in one research study, exposing employees to a five minute customer story resulted in a 400% increase in revenues generated.

So…if you don’t have one, get crackin’ on that Origin Story.

You can learn more about the Make a Stand story and the good they doing at their site.

Here’s their video:

Make a Stand Lemon-aid: “Hope in a Bottle” from Vivienne Harr on Vimeo.

Mar 24, 2013 | 2 comments View Post

How to Use Stories About Overcoming Adversity to Elicit The “Inner Hero”

We all need inspiration, especially during challenging times.

Stories about people overcoming adversity and the Dark Night of the Soul periods in their life help us put our challenges in perspective and see that we are more than those challenges.

Feeding our souls with stories filled with the timeless theme of sesemingly “average” people overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles reminds us that we too have that courage in our DNA.

Sharing these types of stories should also be part of a leader’s ongoing communication with their employees. Doing so helps lift the spirits of employees feeling tired and beleaguered. It helps them access their Inner Hero.

In a recent TLNT.com article, I wrote about how to use stories about people overcoming adversity to elicit the “Inner Hero” in employees.

When you read it, notice not just the content of the message, but notice how it uses stories to communicate the message.

It starts off with a story about an interview I heard with Nate Ruess, the lead singer for the Grammy award winning band Fun. and his story about years of toiling in obscurity, wondering if it will ever happen.

Feb 12, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

How to use a story to impact at the visceral level, rather than just at the intellectual…

I just heard a great example of someone turning a truism one might know intellectually into something that hits you at the visceral level, by using a story.

I was re-listening to David Neagle’s teleseminar series The Miracle of Money (which is outstanding, BTW…I think it’s something we should teach in our schools) and came upon this story from the bible he tells to illustrate a point.

Basically, he was talking about how you can’t just affirm into existence what you want–a la The Secret–and hope for a miracle. But, that you must engage in what he calls “miracle making activities”. He talks about how when we try to affirm things like “I am in great shape” or “My business is growing” but do nothing to make those happen, our subconscious mind is thinking “That’s BS…you don’t mean it and you don’t believe it.”

While you might think this is common sense:

1. There are a lot of people who believe that simply affirming things over and over will miraculously make them happen.

2. There are a lot of people who live their lives acting as if, without action, good things will happen.

To be honest, I’ve done #2 more times than I would like to admit, so I felt somewhat “busted” as he talked about this.

But, I found the way he framed it in a biblical story especially powerful.

As I heard the story again, it hit home at a deeper level and…made me think “I want to share this with my storytelling folks as a great example of how to use a story to make your idea, which could easily be taken as nothing new and common sense, and make it come alive…and make it hit at a visceral level…not just an intellectual level.”

Listen to the story and notice the power it adds to the concept.

Then think about concepts you want to teach and how you can use stories like this to make them “stickier” (as in Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath)

You can literally listen to the audio excerpt at the bottom of this post, or…read it:

The other story is one that comes out of Christian scripture. It‘s where Christ was in a home. It says he was teaching to the family in this home, and the multitude was out around the home.

What‘s the multitude? According to the Bible, the multitude was hundreds or thousands of people. They gathered around the home in hopes of many different things. Some wanted teaching from Christ. Some wanted healing from Christ. They all wanted to get something from him, so they were standing outside the home waiting in hopes that they might get something from him.

There was a family that lived a few miles away. The family had a dying father, and they had gotten word that Christ was teaching in this home just a few miles away.

They put the father in a cart and carted over to the home. When they got there, they can‘t get to the door because the multitude was standing all around the house.

What they did was said, ―Father will have his healing.

They climbed up and hoisted the father onto the roof of the home. They ripped off the top of the roof and lowered the father down in front of Christ to get the healing. The father was healed.

For everybody else on the outside around the home, if you were ask if they wanted their healing, would say, ―Yes, please,‖ but they just stood there. The person who really wanted it spent their time in miracle-generating activities. They would not be denied success in the healing of the father, so they found a way where there was no way.

They could have got there and said, ―We can‘t get through these thousands of people. He‘s busy. Maybe we‘d be disturbing him.‖ Some of you are afraid to make phone calls and call people because you‘re disturbing people.

In the Christian religion, Christ is the son of God, and these people had no problem bothering the son of God or ripping off the roof of the house to lower him to the son of God. They weren‘t afraid to be ashamed, embarrassed or told no.

They said, ―We will have our healing. We will have our abundance. We‘re not going to be weak of heart and mind. We‘re not going to be distracted by all the people who don‘t have the confidence to go in and ask for and demand what they want. We will have it.‖ Christ granted their request.

Christ‘s story is very interesting. If you look throughout the Bible, you realize there were only a few people Christ actually healed. At some point, you have to ask yourself why. If Christ had the power to heal all of humanity, why did he come here and just heal a few?

You don‘t find him healing anybody who didn‘t go through great pains in order to ask him to heal. That‘s the difference between really desiring what you want and just slightly wanting it because you don‘t like what your situation is presenting.

© 2011 Life Is Now, Inc * 500 North Michigan Avenue, Suite 300 * Chicago, IL 60611 Ph / fax 888-720-7117

For more of David Neagle’s work, go to DavidNeagle.com.

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Jan 30, 2013 | 2 comments View Post

How to Use Videos to Facilitate Deep Reflection and Conversation

At a leadership retreat I facilitated a while back, I shared with the team the video of Jonathan and Charlotte (see below).

We used it as a catalyst for discussing how they can “Be a Charlotte” to each other during the challenging transitional period they were going through. Even though they have been a strong team for years with members who truly love and appreciate each other, they had temporarily lost their awareness and ability to support and encourage each other.

We used the video to spark conversation about how they can once again “Be Charlottes” to each other in supportive, encouraging ways.

This is a simple example of using a video to spark deep conversation about important issues.

It’s also an example of being mindful of any and all experiences you have as potential teaching tools.

So in this case, after watching the video a couple of times and moving beyond the pure heart-warming and mind-blowing aspects of it, I found myself thinking:

“What’s going on here that is so big and where else can this message be brought?”

Perhaps the biggest theme for me was the power of “Holding the Vision” for another when they cannot. Charlotte could see Jonathan’s greatness when he could not and because of her unwavering friendship and confidence in him, he was able to attempt something he would never have dreamed possible.

In my blog on resilience WhateverLifeBrings.com, I wrote about this and included the following. I’m sharing it here to give you an example of how to use the video as tool to facilitate deep reflection and conversation.

In this context, I’m sharing the video with you as a way to catalyze you to think about how you can mirror back to someone the gifts and potential you see in them.

Think for a moment of friends or colleauges who can’t yet hold the vision for themselves of their greatness and what is truly possible for them.

After watching the video, think about people who have been Charlottes to you and the difference it made to you during those times you didn’t believe in yourself.

And then think about those people in your life right now, to whom YOU can be a Charlotte…and how you might do that:

Notice how you feel after watching the video.

This is one of the ways that storytelling, whether spoken or through visual communication is so powerful.

Because they impact at a visceral level, they can shift you to a very different emotional state. In that new emotional state, you find yourself thinking things and seeing things that you would not have in your neutral or negative emotional state.

So…be on the lookout for videos, including clips from movie scenes, that move you and ask yourself:

1. What about this is moving?

2. What big theme or themes does this embody?

3. In what contexts is this relevant and important?

4. How can I use this to spark deep reflection and conversation?

Also…if you have videos and movie scenes that you really like and wonder about how to use them or…you have some that you already use, please share with the rest of us.

P.S. Another technical note. If you go back to the beginning of the post, I mentioned how after we watched the video, we talked about how they could “Be a Charlotte” for each other. This is an example of using a video story to make a concept more “Sticky”, in the words of Made to Stick authors Chip and Dan Heath. I could have just thrown out the question “How can you be more supportive of each other and help each see the best in themselves?” and at the end, ask them to keep doing that.

But…by showing the video and using the question “How can I be the Charlotte to others?” it makes it far more meaningful and sticky.

Jan 22, 2013 | 0 comments View Post

Give Feedback; Change Your Corner of the World

I’ve got a cool story about the power of sharing feedback—both positive and negative. My hope is that it will inspire you to share some feedback today…and make a difference in your corner of the world.

Here’s what happened….

Months ago, I wrote a letter to the president (we’ll call her Sarah) of a credit union I do business with, to let her know about one of her tellers who I’ve repeatedly found to be cold and impersonal. Whether she was waiting on me or another member, she would have this sullen, “I hate my job” expression. I never saw her looking friendly or happy.

I gave Sarah, the president, the feedback because I really like her and know she cares about customer service and would want to know.

Sarah was horrified and told me that she would share my letter. She also shared with me a bit of the back story about this young woman and how she had a tough life and how she, Sarah, had taken the young woman under her wing.

Sarah later emailed me to say that she had shared my letter with all the tellers and noted that the teller in question looked very concerned, even mortified.

Fast forward to yesterday.

I’m preparing for two different programs on customer service, so I have “customer service on the mind” even more than usual. I stopped at the credit union and this young woman waited on me, and she was unbelievable. It was like a totally different woman.

She smiled, she spoke with a warm friendly tone of voice. She asked me how I was doing and said something about what a beautiful day it is. Now you might be thinking “That’s just good customer service 101” and you would be right. However, it was 180 degrees from how she had ever been before, it was genuinely warm, down-to-earth-I’m-happy-to-help-you customer service.

When I left, I thought “I want to make sure I recognize the great job she did” and not take it for granted. So, later that day, I wrote the president an email sharing my experience.

Here’s the email I got back (with changes to the name of the teller):

Wow…I’m blown away with happiness! Tiffany really has exploded with personality plus ever since I read your letter to our staff.

I know you said you can’t just learn warmth, caring, et cetera and I agree; however, I always felt she had those qualities but was too shy to shine. By reading your letter and not “pointing the finger” I didn’t know what to expect.

The very next day, a new Tiffany came to work and has consistently shown up ever since. She is bubbly, warm, caring and just plain lovable.

When I questioned supervisors as to their perception as to Tiffany in the days that followed they all agreed she had gone from a bud to a full blown rose. Wonderful!!!!

Thank you so very, very much for sharing your experience with me. I can’t wait to share it with Tiffany. She will be very appreciative and excited!!

Key Take Aways

Her behavior and performance probably wouldn’t have changed if I hadn’t bothered to write the letter and share my experience.—I’m not saying that in a “Oh..how great of me!” way, but from this perspective: “We’re all really busy and most of us don’t like confrontation, but…if we’re willing to take the time to give the feedback…good things can happen.”
Take the time to let people know when they rock—Just like you, my plate is uber-full right now and I easily could have said “I don’t have time to write Sarah an email telling her how Tiffany was”. But then, I would not be doing my part in making the world a better place. Also, because “what get’s recognized gets repeated”, when we take the time to acknowledge awesomeness…we get more awesomeness! So, to apply this to your life…who is doing a rockin’ job at your work? How about letting them know?
When we spread goodwill we feel better—I can’t tell you how great I felt knowing that my simple email was going to make Sarah happy and Tiffany even more so. As I write this, I’m smiling because I can imagine how good Tiffany will feel knowing that the changes she’s made were noticed and appreciated. When we do “random acts of kindness and generosity” we experience a release of feel good biochemical (like oxytocin and endorphins) that create what’s called the Helper’s High. I believe intentionally doing acts of kindness and generosity is one of THE best ways to keep your spirits up. It’s also a great way to boost employee morale. The more employees are encouraged to look for ways of being helpful to others, give compliments, show appreciation, and do other acts of goodwill…the better everyone in your organization feels. So…how about looking for opportunities today to spread goodwill?

Do you have examples of your sharing feedback making a difference?

Oct 03, 2012 | 0 comments View Post

David Whyte & Growing Up

Although it happened about 10 years ago, I can picture vividly in my mind this scene: the poet David Whyte is speaking at a weekend retreat. The audience hangs on every word, murmuring and sighing with admiration and even adulation after each point made, each idea shared.

While I too found both the depth of David Whyte’s insights and the poetic way he communicates spell-binding—and still do—I also found myself both disappointed in, and intrigued by, the audience’s response. I also found myself intrigued and impressed by David’s nonverbal response to the audience.

The audience’s continuous “oohing and ahhing” over everything he said, reminded me of the star struck interviewer fawning over their movie star interviewee, leaning in, laughing enthusiastically at mediocre quips and nodding their heads vigorously to acknowledge the import of the star’s comments.

It reminded me of a media star presenting at a conference I spoke at years ago, and how the audience “oohed and ahhed” over the platitudes she shared as if they were ground breaking revelations, and laughed uproariously over tired and inappropriate jokes that, if delivered by a “regular” person, would have been met with disapproving stares.

The audience’s response, embarrassingly so, reminded me of how I have been that person a few times in my life when conversing with someone famous. I have been that person putting myself in the “child sitting at the foot of the teacher” position, seeking to ingratiate myself.

Their response reminded me of how we give our power away when we too eagerly look to some authority to think for us and to provide us with their wisdom, rather than seek our own wisdom. Their response reminded me of how we are often looking for someone else to speak the words and share the controversial thoughts that we dare not.

What was more interesting, though, was David Whyte’s response.

Obviously what I believe I saw was only my interpretation, but what I thought I saw on his face was disappointment. There was no basking in the adulation like some applause addicts, soaking up the guru worship. Instead, his face spoke:

“Don’t hang on my every word. Don’t make yourself small and me big and all knowing. Don’t look to me for your answers or to speak your truth for you. I am just a catalyst here to invite you to discover your truths and to speak them in your voice.”

Whether or not he actually was thinking this is irrelevant, because I believe it’s an important message.

For far too long have “average people” looked to the few for guidance and for truth, subordinating their innate wisdom to the apparent wisdom of “experts”. For too long, “average people” have sought to bypass the hard work required to look inward for one’s own understandings, instead seeking an off-the-shelf answer from an “expert.”

And for far too long, we have looked to other, seemingly braver souls to speak the truths we have dared not speak.

By doing this, we live as children, not adults.

After that retreat, I wrote—almost transcribed—lines based on the above experience that formed my first fledgling attempt at a poem. I then put it away. While I had written a fair amount of professional articles by that time, I had certainly never tried my hand at poetry, and so sharing it felt too vulnerable. Over the years, I would take it out and rework it, until finally this year I decided to share it.

Here it is:

Your Answers, Not Mine

(an Ode to David Whyte)

Hushed silence

rapt attention

Silence broken only,

by sighs of realization

joined with admiration.

Awakenings wrapped

in awe.

An awe unrequested,

nor even desired.

My words are nothing more

than invitations

to you.

To enter your silence

To embrace your mystery

To speak your truth

Not to admire my words.

Not to bow down

before my ideas.

Nor to await

my next revelation.

For in these times,

adults can no longer be as children,

sitting cross-legged,

at the feet of their teacher,

awaiting instruction,

seeking direction.

Our world can no longer wait.

It leans in, silent

listening for your voice,

rapt in anticipation,

for you now,

to speak your truth.

Oct 01, 2012 | 0 comments View Post

Use “I didn’t think I could…but I did!” stories to shift people from “I can’t” to “I can”

When You Need to Help Someone Shift Into an Empowered “Can Do” State

Ever work with someone who is stuck in the “There’s no way I can…” mode?

Or…they feel so helpless and hopeless, they can’t see any options or opportunities?

Or, maybe you’ve had the experience of working with a group, trying to teach them how to handle a challenging situation–such as having difficult conversations or picking up the phone and calling prospects–and when you look out at the group, you can see they totally don’t believe they’re going to be able to learn the skill?

Well then…

…bring on the “I didn’t think I could…but I did!” story

…and let the empowerment begin :-).

Shifting people’s emotional state and perspective are one of the many ways stories add tremendous power to your change catalyst repertoire.

Here’s an 8 minute clip that demonstrates and explains how to use this type of story to:

Shift the listener (or group of listeners) from an “I can’t” mindset to an “I can.”
Shift the energy of the listener–or group–from one that is flat or disempowered and helpless to one that is energized and empowered

To learn more about using storytelling to shift people from “I can’t…” to “I can…” and, how to “wrap your message in bacon” using stories, go to this post and find out about the upcoming webinar on August 28th.

Also…please post questions and comments below.

Aug 08, 2012 | 0 comments View Post