Category: Stories for Coaches and Entrepreneurs

How NOT to Blow Your Big Chance When Speaking In Front of a Group

A while back I witnessed yet another sad example of someone squandering one of the most precious marketing opportunities possible: getting the chance to present in front of a group of potential buyers.

This happened at an association meeting of customer service professionals. A rep from a CRM (customer relationship management) software company had the chance to give a five minute “commercial” because his company had sponsored the event.

Rather than use his precious time to communicate how his business helps solve problems that were relevant to the audience, he simply talked about his company and stated facts about the customer service industry that were common knowledge to anyone in the industry.

People waited patiently until he was over so the “real speaker” (yours truly) could get up and talk to them about the topic they really were interested in.

I felt bad for this man and his company because I knew they had spent a lot of money to get the chance to tell people how their product could help them, and all he accomplished was boring the audience.

Does this sound familiar?

Have you ever been “that guy”?

Maybe you also have been the main speaker at an event or a breakout session at a conference, and found yourself doing what a lot of vendor reps and consultants who aren’t professional speakers do. Maybe you did any or all of the following:

Started off with a lame joke.
Transitioned into a long description of what your company does.
Spent most of your time giving a “State of the Union” speech that merely reminds the audience of all the problems they were facing and had come to get answers to.
Gave 30,000 foot high “answers” that are commonsense, such as “Give great customer service”, “You need to have quality employees if you’re going to give quality customer service” or “Turnover is costing you a lot; so it’s important to stop turnover.”
Read off of your PowerPoint slides….bullet point list item after bullet point list item.

Does this sound hauntingly familiar?

If so, it’s time to upgrade your presentational approach by adding stories and concrete examples.

Make Your Presentation Exponentially More Interesting and Persuasive By Adding Three Story Genres

Here are three types of stories that will make your presentation—whether it’s five minutes or sixty minutes—far more fascinating and persuasive.

1. “I Feel Your Pain” Stories –This story genre includes stories of your own experience that mirrors the audience’s major challenges. It also includes stories of clients or customers with challenges that mirror the audience’s. Either way, you are letting them know “I know where you are coming from.” You are also reminding them of the pain the unsolved problem is causing them.

By reminding them of the pain they have, you increase their desire to listen to what you’re going to tell them. So one way to start off with a bang is to tell a story that immediately taps into their pain and…shows that you “get them.”

So for instance, when I do programs on how to engage people in constructive conversations around difficult topics, I often start off with a really difficult conversation I once had with a co-worker. In the opening, I usually only tell the first part of the story, where I share how angry I was at him and how I obsessed about my not having a witty comeback, and how I plotted my revenge. When I share this with groups, I see nods of recognition. They know what it’s like and…they get it that I have faced the same struggles as they have. My story also reminds them of the pain they have felt because of conflict they were unwilling to address because they didn’t think they had the skills to make the conversation work.

2. Price and Promise Stories – Share a story about how a client or customer of yours was dealing with a problem the audience can relate to, and how your solution made a difference. Price and Promise Stories make clear the price the audience member pays for NOT addressing the problem, and the benefits of successfully addressing the problem.

As in the “I Feel Your Pain” story, Price and Promise Stories are designed to heighten the audience’s interest and make them want to hear more. However, don’t go into describing your solution, step-by-step, if you start off with this type of story. When you start off with a Price and Promise Story, it’s meant as a tool to spark interest.

Later on in your presentation when you are describing how you solve the audience’s relevant problems, you can use this story genre to describe what you do. You can also use an “open loop” Price and Promise Story to start your presentation. Thi is where you share the “before picture”—i.e. the “problem state”—and then tell the audience that you will share with them later in the session what you did to achieve a positive outcome.
This is called “salting”, as in “making them thirsty for what you are going to tell them”. The story I started off this post with is an example of salting. It starts off with a story that communicates “This is the price you pay for being an uninteresting speaker…a huge lost marketing opportunity”. While I don’t explicitly say “Keep reading and I will tell you how to rectify this”, you understand that is where we are going. If you can relate to the story, you wanted to hear more about how NOT to be “that guy.”

3. “What I mean by that” Stories – These stories take your key concepts and help listeners understand what they mean at an emotional and visceral level, rather than have them vaguely understood at an intellectual story. When we use abstract terms without concrete examples, we risk people either not understanding what we mean or….believing they do understand, when in fact they don’t.

You prevent this from happening by following each key point with “So for instance…” or “Here’s an example of what I mean…”, and then giving a concrete example or sharing a short story that illustrates that point.

Doing this will make a HUGE difference in your audience’s ability to comprehend what you’re saying.

So for instance, when I give programs on constructive conversations, I talk about the language pattern I call The Multiple Choice Opener. This language pattern makes it more comfortable for people to speak honestly about a tough issue. When I describe the Multiple Choice Opener, I don’t just list the characteristics of this language pattern. I give the audience an example. I say “So…for instance…let’s say you did a performance review with Mary…” I then describe the scenario and how the Multiple Choice Opener would be used in the situation.

Other times, I illustrate what the Multiple Choice Opener looks and sounds like in real life by sharing a short story about my using this language pattern with my young daughter when she seemed displeased with the idea of helping me wash dishes.

By giving a concrete example or sharing a short story, you help the listener play a movie inside their mind of what you are talking about, so they understand what it looks and sounds like in real life.

By making abstract terms concrete, you help your listeners move beyond “sort of knowing intellectually” what you are saying to fully grasping at an experiential level what you mean and why it’s significant. When this happens, your message becomes more understandable, more interesting, and more persuasive.

So Use Stories to Make Your Points More Understandable and Your Presentations More Compelling

So…don’t be like the typical vendor or professional who does great work or has a great product, but doesn’t know how to talk about it in a way that makes others want to listen.

Don’t blow your big opportunity to spread your message when you do get the chance to speak in front of a group.

Start off your presentations with a story and, use stories and examples to make your points come alive.

Doing so will make you a far more fascinating and compelling speaker.

Adding storytelling to your presentations will also making speaking a lot more fun for you, and… it will make listening to you a lot more fun for your audience.

For examples of these types of stories, check out the Blog Category:

Presentation Opening Stories

For information on the Make Your Presentation Opportunity a Hit program, contact me at david (at) storiesthatchange.com

Apr 06, 2015 | 0 comments View Post

Far From Over Reminds Us That, No Matter How We Might Feel…”It’s Far From Over”

I want to share the video below both because of its message and because it is a great example of how you can take a story, whether in written form or through video, and use it as a teaching metaphor.

The video comes courtesy of friend and colleague John Brubaker, aka Coach Bru.

John, a master at taking everyday experiences and turning them into teaching stories, shared the video below on Facebook, with the comment:

“Don’t despair if your 2015 has gotten off to a slow start. It’s “far from over” & this could be you..”

You might feel like that or, you might feel like:

One or more important goals are seeming so out of reach.
You haven’t accomplished anywhere near what you think you should (whether in the last year or in your life).
You’ve been struggling with something, perhaps getting a business off the ground, writing that book, or maybe something in your personal life that seems never-ending, and it seems like the “light of day” will never come.

Do any of these resonate with you?

OK…let’s watch the video.

When you’re done, here are a few ways you can use it as a teaching tool:

In your own life, use it to reflect on situations like the ones mentioned above.
In a workshop where you want to help shift people into a more empowered, possibility-filled state, have them watch this video, or one like it. Then, have them either write about, or brainstorm with a partner, how they can see their situation in a new light and what they can do to make progress in it.
As an example for you to be on the lookout for other inspiring videos and stories to help people shift from helpless or “I can’t” to hopeful and “I can.”

Post by NYRA.

When you’re done watching it, here are a few ways you can use it as a teaching tool:

In your own life, use it to reflect on situations like the ones mentioned above.
As a way to shift people’s state from feeling hopeless to hopeful. After you have them watch the video–or videos like it–have them either write about, or brainstorm with a partner, how they can see their situation in a new light and what they can do to make progress in it.
As an example for you to be on the lookout for other inspiring videos and stories to help people shift from helpless or “I can’t” to hopeful and “I can.”

Feb 08, 2015 | 0 comments View Post

An Origin Story with Drama, Romance, and… Chocolate

Check out Liz Welch’s interview with NYC chocolatier Jacques Torres for a great example of an inspiring Origin Story. His story is also a great example of how stories provide both “inspiration and simulation” (one of my favorite quotes from Chip and Dan Heath of Made to Stick fame).

Not only does his story capture the challenge and drama of the start-up experience–and make him and his company more fascinating–it also provides useful lessons to start-up entrepreneurs, including:

1. His firm decision to NOT take outside investment money and why.

2. Taking lemons–in the form of Valentine’s Day lollipops that weren’t selling–and turning it into lemonade–by adding a quirky twist. The result: a blockbuster hit.

As you read it, notice that it doesn’t come across as a documentary, but as a drama, complete with struggle and overcoming. That’s what you want in your Origin Story.

If you’re looking for examples of how to tell your business’s Origin Story, here’s a good example to study.

Feb 05, 2015 | 0 comments View Post

Marketing Genius Jeff Walker demonstrates the power of a story to make your point pack a punch

Listen to Jeff Walker share his “light bulb going off” moment about what you need to do to separate yourself from the competition.

Notice how you can picture in your mind the scene as he describes it.

Notice how much more real–and horrifying–his discovery feels because it’s embedded in a story.

If he just gave you the take away message, you would be like “Oh yeah…I already know that.”

But the story, especially the visual, makes the point pack a punch.

After watching the video, think about your key take away messages. Think about the points you want to pack more of a punch.

Then…come up with stories that make that happen.

Want help doing that? Email me and we’ll talk.

Jan 19, 2015 | 2 comments View Post

Nervous About Speaking? Just Add Stories: A Debrief of My Semi-Impromptu #SMBME Talk

Just before heading out to the Social Media Breakfast of Maine’s meeting (check out #SMBME for tweets from the crowd), I checked my email. It was 6:20 AM.

Much to my surprise I found an email from the event’s organizer, Amanda O’Brien, which had been sent the night before. Her email said she had just noticed I was attending the program and wondered if I would like to speak, too. The topic was storytelling and writing. The main speaker was the author of Everybody Writes, and content marketing guru Ann Handley. Since Ann was going to focus on writing, Amanda wanted to know if I would speak about storytelling in general.

Sure, glad to, I responded.

While I was “glad to,” there was also a problem with this.

Even though I have spoken at conferences around the country and overseas for over two decades, speaking doesn’t come easily for me. I’m not the guy who can’t wait to get in front of a group and talk. It takes me awhile to formulate what I want to say. But…I love storytelling and I also had witnessed what a fun group this was, so it seemed like a great opportunity to share something I love with people I enjoyed.

While I rarely get nervous when I give a talk, because I didn’t feel prepared, my stomach quickly knotted up and my heart started racing.

As I drove into Portland, I started thinking about what key points I would make and stories I would tell to illustrate those points.

At the breakfast, instead of mowing through multiple plates of eggs and bacon from the breakfast buffet and catching up with friends who were also attending, I jotted down thoughts and formulated a simple outline. At one point, I asked my friend and copywriter, Nina Hope, to distract me by telling me the funny story she had emailed me a “teaser” about.

After the sponsors were introduced and spoke briefly, it was time for me to speak.

I walked up to the front of the room, my stomach still in a knot and my heart still racing.

In the audio below, you will hear what I said.

Now…I am sharing this context and the presentation with you for a couple of reasons.

First, if you have stage fright, this will hopefully help you see how storytelling can help you settle down and actually enjoy your talk.

Second, I want to “pull back the curtain” and share with you some of the intentionality that goes behind storytelling.

You can approach what follows in two different ways. First, you can listen to the 10 minute recording below and THEN read my explanation and analysis or…you can read the explanation and analysis first, whichever works for your learning style.

So here goes…

My original plan was to first tell a story about an expert in the field of mind/body medicine who was bombing on stage and how storytelling saved the day for him. This type of story, what I call a Pain and Promise Story. The Pain and Promise Story grabs the audience’s attention because it speaks to a pain they feel and a hope they have about that pain going away. So it both resonates with their current situation—“I understand you”—and promises an antidote to their plight. This story genre immediately grabs the audience’s attention because it communicates “This will be helpful to you.”

My original planned evaporated when my butterflies did not.

I decided instead to start off with a different story, a funny story, because I needed to relax. Because it’s always been a real crowd pleaser and because it’s funny, I knew it would put me in a more upbeat, having-a-good-time state. So at the last minute I decided to start off with that story instead.

Then, I did the “expert bombing on stage” story. I was going to tell one last story that illustrates how you can use stories to challenge people without being confrontational—which is one of THE most useful applications of storytelling.

I call these the How to Say “You’re Crazy” in a Nice Way Stories.

I wanted to include this story in my short presentation, because this story genre helps people address one of THE most challenging situations for people, especially those in sales, coaching, and leadership positions. It helps them challenge people’s perspectives, beliefs, and excuses without triggering defensiveness and antagonism. I also wanted to include this point about what storytelling can do, along with a story to illustrate the point, because it shows how storytelling isn’t just a presentation tool.

But…when I got to this point in my talk, I felt like I was going to go over the 10 minutes I was shooting for, so I decided NOT to tell that story, but to instead use an analogy to make the point.

I love the analogies for making your point punchy in a fraction of the time.

Analogies are a great way to make your abstract idea concrete in a very short amount of time. If you don’t have much time to make your point, either because of time constraints or because your audience is filed with impatient people (e.g. busy executives in a meeting), analogies are a great alternative to stories.

What was I thinkin’?

OK, here are stylistic and technical notes, both to illustrate the intentionality that went into different aspects of the how the stories were told, as well as how it could have been improved.

How to Make Your Story More Relatable – In the first story, I talk about how I had blown my situation out of proportion. I had turned it into an “If I blow this keynote, it will be a career-ender.” I could have left it at that, but instead I followed that with something like “You know how we do that… we take something that is a little deal and turn it into a BIG DEAL…so maybe it’s like you get the chance to speak in front of senior leadership and you think ‘If I blow it, I’m going to be fired’ or maybe you have a business idea and you want to pitch it to a group of venture capitalists and you think ‘If I blow this…I’ll never get another chance.’”The language pattern that starts with “You know how we do that…” and is followed by experiences the audience can relate to, comes from the world of hypnosis.

It’s what I call a Linking Phrase.If you want the listener to connect at a more visceral level to your story, you use a Linking Phrase to link the experience you are talking about with one or more “versions” they have probably experienced. Doing this increases the listener’s interest at the conscious level because they can see the direct connection between your experience and theirs. It also increases the listener’s connection at the unconscious level because it signals “this is relevant, so pay attention.” It also stimulates greater interest because it stirs up emotions they have around their version of the challenge you are sharing.

Why You Might Use Your Version of My Opening Story – A couple of the reasons why I like using the first story as an opener:

It’s a great ice breaker.
As I mentioned before, it helps relax me because it’s a fun story to tell.
It helps the audience bond with me because it’s a self-effacing story. It shows that I am not coming to them as a guru or in a one-up position. I am coming to them as a fellow human being, an equal (who just happens to have some specialized knowledge or expertise).
It also subtly communicates credibility, without sounding like I am tooting my own horn. The fact that I was asked to keynote an international conference in Australia makes it obvious—or at least I hope it makes it obvious—that I must know what I’m talking about. Establishing credibility is not for YOUR sake as a speaker. It’s for the audience’s sake. They are far more likely to take seriously and implement your ideas if they believe you are an expert.

Another Example of Using a Linking Phrase – In the second story, I also use a Linking Phrase. This one went something like: “You know that sickening feeling when you’re thinking ‘Man…they are not connecting with me’ and even though you’re really into your idea…they are clearly not.”Just as with the previous example, I want the audience to connect my story with their own experiences, so they can remember the pain. This not only helps them “get into” the story, but also increases their motivation to learn how to NOT experience that pain again.

Provide More Context Than I Did – When I listened to the recording, I noticed that I did something I have caught myself doing on other occasions: not giving enough context to make my point clear to the audience. That happened in the second story when I likened the speaker’s exhortations to a particular Far Side cartoon. I simply said something like “It’s like that Far Side cartoon that goes ‘Blah, blah, blah, Ginger. Blah, blah, blah.’” Here’s the cartoon. I should have described the picture, since obviously not everyone has seen it. One of the reasons why I recommend recording your presentations is because it enables you to catch examples of not giving enough detail or context, so you can do so next time.

Take Away Points

Using a self-effacing, amusing story as an opener is a great way to calm your nerves and help the audience bond with you.
Using Linking Phrases helps the listener connect your story with their own experience. This increases their interest, because it shows how what you are talking about is relevant to them.
Record your talks and pay attention to places where a bit more context or explaining might have made your point more clear.
The more you use stories in your presentations, the more fascinating a speaker you will be and the more fun you will have speaking.

If you want to learn how to be a better storyteller, come to the free program “Tell a Better Story. Generate More Interest. Build Your Business” at the Casco Bay Tech Hub, on Dec 11th.

Now…For the Recording…

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Dec 01, 2014 | 0 comments View Post

“Stories provide inspiration plus simulation”: Judy Robinett and the guys at ILoveMarketing.com show you how

When I share stories with you, I always try to pick ones that both illustrate how to use storytelling to make your ideas more fascinating and persuasive and…the story itself contains valuable information.

I was just listening to yet another excellent ILoveMarketing episode and heard an outstanding example of how to use a story to provide both inspiration and the ” how to”.

BTW, the quote “Stories provide inspiration plus simulation” comes from an important point made by Made to Stick authors Chip and Dan Heath:

“Stories drive action through simulation (what to do) and inspiration (the motivation to do it)”

At 42:40 in the interview titled How You Can Connect With Powerful, Influential People, she shares a very cool story about how she got in front of super successful TV producer Mark Burnett by finding out she can provide value to him. Check it out, both for the useful advice and for a great example of how to use a story to inspire people to see what’s possible and to provide a model for achieving a particular outcome.

She also tells a great story at 45:40 about what she did to get Mark Cuban’s attention…again by providing value. I recommend you listen to that one, too.

Better still, listen to the whole Judy Robinett interview.

Nov 19, 2014 | 1 comment View Post

From Rock Band to Inc. 500: Dan Price and Gravity Payments

I just came across a stellar example of how to tell your Origin Story as well as how to do a sincere video that captures who you are, what makes you different, and the difference your business makes.

It’s a video that tells the story of how Dan Price, founder of Gravity Payments started his business (that story starts at 1:08 into the video) and what they believe in.

I highly recommend any business owner–especially if you are in the start-up mode and want to garner media attention–to study this video.

I challenge you to watch it and not come away thinking “This guy and his business totally rock!”

Nov 09, 2014 | 0 comments View Post

How to Give a TED Talk Worthy Presentation

Here’s a link to a Harvard Business Review article written by Chris Anderson titled “How to Give a Killer Presentation”

Whether you aspire to do a TED talk or just want to be a more compelling speaker, this is worth checking out.

Aug 11, 2014 | 0 comments View Post

Content Isn’t King. “Content Inside a Story” Is King

I just heard a great comment by JD Roth, who started a personal finance blog titled Get Rich Slowly, and sold it for 7 figures.

In an interview with Jaime Tardy, author of The Eventual Millionaire and the successful podcast of the same name, Jaime asked JD about whether great content is enough to separate yourself from all the other people in your field shouting their message.

He responds by explaining how you won’t differentiate yourself simply from your advice, because there are millions of others giving same or similar advice. In other words, just having good content will not make you stand out from the crowd.

In the interview, he uses the example of someone writing about why people should invest in index funds. Well, notes JD, there are thousands of articles out there on the value of investing in index funds. You won’t differentiate yourself by writing another article giving this advice. What will make you different is the story of WHY YOU became a fan of index funds–i.e. YOUR story.

This is what I call a Pain and Promise Story. You talk about the Pain you were experiencing due to the problem your audience is currently dealing with, your discovery of a way to solve that problem, and the “good news”–aka The Promise–of what it’s like after you have solved the problem. So in JD’s example with the index fund article, you might write about all the years you spent time you didn’t have trying to track and compare various funds and still find they underperformed the market, and how you discovered just how much you were paying for an “expert” to manage these funds, yet their management didn’t translate into better returns, just a higher management fee…etc. etc.

You get the picture.

By telling YOUR story, you become much more real. Much more bond-able than if you simply make your recommendation from On High.

Besides being more interesting and persuasive, storytelling also helps you accelerate the Know-Like-Trust process, which accelerates your ability to persuade and therefore your ability to make a positive difference.

To listen to JD talk about this, go to 17:35 in the interview (although I recommend the whole interview if you are a blogger).

Jul 09, 2014 | 0 comments View Post

To Help People Understand What You’re Talking About Faster, Give an Example Sooner

I just saw a great example of a mistake a lot of us make when explaining our Big Idea or a key concept.

The video below is a great example of how you can be a brilliant thinker and writer, and still forget to make your ideas more instantly understandable to your audience.

In this brief interview with Youngme Moon, author of Different, she describes three different types of brands:

Reverse Brands
Break Away Brands
Hostile Brands

As you watch the interview, notice that the interviewer asks her for an example after she describes each brand type.

When she gave an example of each brand type, didn’t you get more of a sense of what the different terms meant?

I don’t know about your experience, but as I was listening to her definitions, I found myself paying close attention, but not feeling confident I got what she was talking about. But then when she gave an example of a company that embodied the brand and why, the light bulb went on. Oh, that’s what she means!

So…here’s the take away, and something I learned from Klas Mellander, author of Power Learning. When you are explaining a concept, do NOT make this common mistake:

Name the concept , explain it, and then give an example, or worse yet, move on to the next concept without ever giving an example. (BTW, notice how in the video, the interviewee followed up after each of Youngme Moon’s explanations with a request for an example.)

Instead, when you present a key concept:

Name the Concept (e.g. “Hostile Brand”)
Give a Concrete Example (e.g. She shared an example of a company with a Hostile Brand)
Explain Your Concept (e.g. What Youngme did in the interview)

By giving the listener something concrete to attach your abstract words to, they can grasp the abstract far more easily than if you simply try explaining something abstract with more abstractions.

So…give examples; make your abstract ideas concrete…and your audience will love you for it!

Jun 24, 2014 | 0 comments View Post